Okay, first and foremost, if you are reading this you are definitely confused about the listing. No worries. The listing is for a Voodoo Doll action as defined below. However, also included is a chapter of a serialized novel being spread out over my many auctions. The story was written specifically for EBAYers.. so if you look through my auctions with the subtitle of the Novel, you can find out what happens to Sam and the Tale of Two Ebays. As a bonus, if you buy an item that contains one of the chapters, you will be acknowledged in the final published work! Ten lucky buyers will be randomly selected to be characters in the novel (The main character is Sam, but if you are lucky enough to be selected I will rename him to whatever your name is... or one of my other characters). This is a rare and unique opportunity to see your name in a published novel... so please, don't be afraid to buy my stuff. (**Note: The items that are up for auction with the stories in them actually pertain to the novel... readers, this is an Easter Egg!) Cheers.

The Mystical and Dangerous World of Voodoo

So you think you are ready for the mystical thrill of inflicting pain or pleasure on others through existential means. Well, you are simply crazy. You can't just pick up a voodoo doll and ask it to fain to your will. VD Dolls (my fun pet name for them) must be handled carefully and an expert hand is needed to guide the needles, flame or feathers upon them to gain the desired effect.

Is Voodoo crazy? Probably, still there is enough study on the matter to give it some credence. Even the Amish (the land where I live - Lancaster, PA) have their own shamans with mystical plans and remedies. Of course there are also my brothers and sisters from the deep south and my family roots deep in the swamps of Cajun country who continue to practice many forms of power over evil. My skillz have been honed over many years in the practice of voodoo and witchdoctory; I watched lots of tv shows, movies, read a few books and I barely listened to my crazy old alcoholic grandmother. Which means I have a good handle on the voodoo stuff.

Unfortunately, this auction is for a service not a product. If you want a voodoo doll, I can make a custom one for you, sure, but it won't work. You aren't mystical so you have no authority over the demons that possess the dolls. At best you can probably stick a rock in the heart of your doll and throw it at the person to whom you are wanting to exact your revenge upon, and if your aim is good, you are likely to get the desired effect.

If you buy this item, I will stick needles wherever you want (on the doll of course, not my own personage). I can also use fire, but not too close to burn off the Audrey Hepburn outfits I often dress them in. Lastly, I can use feathers that can either tickle or provide a feeling of comfort. My actions can have varying affects on the person to whom you are directing the doll. The impact can be directly measured with regards to how superstitious the person is, if they know that a VD Doll is in practice and if they in fact like pain (I get requests for those as well...I tell you, there are some real freaks out there).

In summary, here is what you get: A hex via VD Doll on a person of your choice. I will photograph the doll with it's afflictions and send it to you.

Guarantee: I guarantee, I will take fierce action on the doll. It may (may not) have the desired affect on the personage of your choice. And, according to my crazy alcoholic grandma, if I drink enough grain alcohol, I can see visions of the doll taking the role of the person to whom it's intended. She mostly saw demons, she believed they lived in the bottom of Vodka bottles and if she consumed their environment, they would die of thirst.

So now you are to a decision making point: Do you buy this item from a questionable source, expecting them to have an affect on someone with an unsubstantiated science, and whose training and education are sketchy... that and you don't even get the doll when the hex is done? Sure, why not? What's $3 to you anyway? If it works... woohoo, the stars aligned and the magic happened, making me Harry Potter (or at least Percy Weasley). If it doesn't...then you have helped to encourage my insane pursuit of writing.

FYI, if you really want an authentic corn husk voodoo doll of your own, made from Amish grown corn, I can do it for $8 more plus shipping. But seriously, they don't work. You've gotta have a crazy, Cajun alcoholic grandma and thousands of hours of television research (the Serpent and the Rainbow, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, The Hot Chick...) to gain the necessary skillz.

<o:p> </o:p>

I did promise a serialized story from Scott Sequoia… and here it is:

A Tale of Two Ebay’s<o:p></o:p>

By Scott Sequoia

Sponsored by www.justfordaddy.com

<o:p> </o:p>

Part I – The Rise and Fall of Global Economics and other boring subject matter<o:p></o:p>

<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cwillis%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cwillis%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cwillis%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><style type="text/css"> </style>

Chapter 3 – Donkephants

<o:p> </o:p>

“So you were an Obama supporter right,” Jessica said looking at Sam as he turned onto the bypass lane. Seattle is a city on the water and offers a beautiful vista. The only problem is that it also offers little in the way of roadway expansion, and with a growing population roadway designers had to become creative. Carpool lanes worked for a few years, but with the promise of low housing costs and increasing job opportunities spawned by Microsoft, Nintendo, Amazon and Adobe, Californians were trading in their sunglasses for Birkenstocks and filling up the roadways. The newest invention was a time of day expressway that would travel into the city in the morning and out of the city in the afternoon. The expressway could only be used by carpoolers thereby satisfying the dense population of granola tree huggers.

“Why do you say that,” Sam said a little annoyed.

“Well it’s obvious that you haven’t been impacted by the stimulus package and you weren’t impacted by the financial gains of the previous administration, so you must be a democrat,” Jessica said conversationally.

“It’s equally obvious that I’ve held the same job for fifteen years, I am conservative in my spending and I don’t invest in anything that doesn’t say Do Not Remove by Penalty of Law.” He said sounding a little more annoyed.

“You realize you just told me you keep all your money under your mattress right? What are you, Amish or something?” This time she seemed a little light at the mocking of his situation.

“Yes and no,” he said.

“What?” Jessica asked.

“Yes, I am foolish for telling you where I keep my money and no I am not Amish. However, if you were to come to my house and dig under my bed, you would have to combat the armies of dust bunnies that have been guarding my vault, and while I don’t believe they have a religious preference, they do <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cwillis%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cwillis%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cwillis%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><style>